In the classic comedy film “Hall Pass”, a grown man is insulted at a coffee shop by a young coffee slinging kid because he comes off a bit square. The gentleman on the client-side of the counter responds, “I’ll tell you another thing, after you’ve lost all of your parents money on your Avante Garde piece of crap short film you’re going to need a job. It’s guys like me who hire. Guys like me don’t hire punks like you, so shape up!”
Recently our nation has been taken over by a lot of people who find that it’s easier to complain about capitalism than to try to carve out their little piece of the pie. While sleeping in the park might seem fun when you are 18 years old, at some point you are going to have to grow up and get a job. If society hasn’t given you the proper skills or advice to find a job, have no fear — We are here to help. Anybody can do it, and there are just 5 simple steps to follow in order to join the work force and become a contributing member of society!
5). Clean up your act.
Seriously, nobody wants to hire someone that has 15 different piercings on their face and visible tattoos everywhere. Maybe you don’t have any of that, but you wreak of cigarette smoke, or look like you haven’t bathed in weeks. Whatever it might be, it’s time to take a long hard look at yourself and figure out why the world is not taking you seriously. This is going to take brutal honesty with yourself in order to pull it off, so decide whether or not you have to testicular fortitude to continue beyond this step. You are not a unique and interesting flower or snowflake. Nobody cares about you expressing your individuality. If anything, perspective employers actually care about the opposite, which is you showing that you have the ability to conform and fall in line. This is the brutal truth about becoming an employee, can you take it?
4). Clean up your Social Media Presence….
Seriously folks, we live in the age of Facebook, and Twitter, and Linkedin. When your employer finishes interviewing you, the first thing they are going to do is google you. If nothing comes up, you are irrelevant. If a bunch of social networking sites pop up with inappropriate pictures of you smoking marijuana, or being blacked out drunk — The decision will be made to not hire you right away.
3). Have a skill…
I’m not saying everybody in this world has to go to college, but in order to be employable you’ve got to come with some sort of specialized skill. And I don’t mean singing, urban dancing, or whatever you spent your childhood working on when you should have been studying math. We are no longer a manufacturing nation, and therefore there aren’t going to be a lot of jobs out there for high school graduates who come without skills. Unless you want to work fast food for the rest of your life, or sling boxes in a warehouse — Pay special attention to this point. There are many people who work in fields like Information Technology, where technical certifications make them valuable commodities. Other people get degrees in nursing, or medical administration to ensure they will be employable. Choose your path well, and research what wages are for the specialty you plan to go into. The more specialized you become, the more you can earn. Do not go to art school for 6 years on student loans, and then wonder why you are $100,000 in debt, and unable to find a job.
2). Realize That Nobody Owes You A Thing…
Despite what you’ve been told by your NEA indoctrinated teachers and college professors, the world doesn’t owe you a job, free healthcare, money, or happiness. America is the last country on Earth where you can still start with nothing, and have a great shot at ending your life a millionaire. Nobody is going to give you that first million though, it’s something that you’ve got to chase after and take. No amount of belly aching or protesting is going to get you closer to that goal. The sooner that you realize it, and dump your entitlement attitude — the sooner you can grow as a human being, and become a successful member of society!
1). Learn to Sell Yourself! ABC… Always Be Closing!
No matter what career or specialty you choose to pursue, they will all come down to one thing — Selling yourself. Anybody who is afraid to sell, or admit they are a salesman is missing the point completely. A sale is made on every phone call, every handshake, every interpersonal contact you make with another human being. Either you convince them of something, or they convince you they can’t. This will be effective when you are job hunting, building customer relationships, or trying to convince your boss to grant you that big raise you’ve worked so hard for. Selling is a skill that cuts across all careers, and is something that you should definitely incorporate into your basic skill set. If all else fails, sales jobs are some of the most lucrative jobs out there that you can get into with little or no education. The amount you earn as a sales person can be directly tied to the amount of hustle you put in on a daily basis.